I tend to blog once every two weeks when I find the time. I know this, but it's only because I'm busy with whatever the hell it is I do here. It's 730am, I feel empty.

I've got two classes to attend and then one commitee meeting, one coursework group meeting, and I've a coursework to submit. Then, when I get home, I need to get started on my other coursework which is due in next Thursday.

I've got two extra lectures to attend next week because of cancellations over the past few weeks, and then I need to start printing out past year papers and start scribbling on them.

I know that exams are about two months away at the most, but I'm already thinking about it. I really want to do well this year just to prove that I'm not some bimbo who only knows to have fun. I find it annoying how some people still can't believe that I'm in university level. Getting a rep for partying a lot (when I didn't) doesn't help.

I don't really remember what my life was like, the things I do here are usually based on my own decisions. Sometimes I feel like I'm torturing myself. I let the same thing happen every week, but I can't control it. How can you torture someone you care so much about? I don't know how much anyone knows, but I think you can see just by looking.

I miss life with you.

Things are so different here. I reminisce too much. I don't like letting go. I keep things inside of me for as long as possible and hope that one day I can bury it far enough in my heart. Burn or blow up, whichever comes first. I can't let go. I don't want to let go.

nyah.
-yas