Quarter to noon and I'm already in my gym clothes trying to decide the pro and cons of going to the gym today. I feel so lazy lately, but I'm thinking its probably because I'm tired and haven't had enough rest. I always manage to scrape up enough energy to play netball, but never enough energy to go to the gym because its sooo boring. :-S I'm a sports person, not a gym bunny!!Apakan, sasak ku ah. I said that in the last post as well. teehehe :-)

I HAVEN'T SEEN THE WIFEY SINCE TUESDAY. talur. I was suppose to meet up with her on Thursday, but she cancelled and thenn..When I called her up that afternoon she was queuing up to buy tickets to Dead Man's Chest! :-P PFTTXXXTT!!!! You're mad woman. I should poke you with my ultimate poking stick until you confess that you love me best :-) Anyhoo, when is the next BruStu meat? I'm bored. Let's have a BruStu prom. EVERYONE DRESS UP! :-D

Just surfed: rano, pynk, bruneistudent, Fiz, Fets, poser, hazie, matrixadi and bruneiresources. Phew! That's a lot of websites in just a short period of time :-) I can't say I visit them daily, it's more like... fortnightly? Hmm~

I'm due to go back to UK in mid-September, but I'm not sure if mum's going to buy me a one way ticket or a return. Results came out about two weeks ago, I'm happy to say that I passed with some colours flying through :-P Resits are in August people! Those who need to resit, best of luck to you, study well :-)

Saturday. It's BIA's anniversary thing tonight, mum and dad are going to be out. I'm hoping to catch a movie with Zaza and my sis plus a few others. I went out with Za last night and we met up with my sister, Aimi and Lina at Chill. But Za didn't pick me up until about 8:45p and we didn't get to Gadong til about 9:30p, leaving my poor lil sister sitting alone in Chill waiting for us :-)

I'm still pissed off with people who have left Brunei. I'm not changing the blinking text anytime soon because I'm working on a new layout for ua.org :-P and as for the lot that is about to leave, you guys suck too. I seriously need to find a new set of friends to hang out with. Hmpf.

love,
yas.
xxxx

Nyah. It's 6:40am, and I've been up for the past hour. I couldn't sleep last night because I seriously thought I left Salbrina's netball bibs at the university gym. So, when I went to ask my maid if I brought any green bibs home, she said yes. So.. I'm up for no reason really, unless I can convince my father to teach me to drive today and find a driving instructor that won't upset me.

I went to Yazie's BBQ on Tuesday night with my sister. We came late because I went to play netball. I know I've been playing a lot of it lately and neglecting my gym time. I guess I'm more of a sports person than a gym bunny. I prefer interaction to isolation because thoughts rot my brain. I don't like thinking too much because I get depressed and I'm too paranoid for my own good. I remember a while ago I was convinced someone was going to shoot me down :-S I have no idea where these random thoughts come from, but yeah..That was just a paranoia.

I'm on flickr right now, trying to check out Mustanir's new photos (but Flickr's currently having a massage so I can't surf). They've been having parties/barbecues in Loughborough and Mus was telling me how he felt like a housewife throughout the day because he was constantly in the kitchen cooking. He told me his housemate invited about thirty people o.o Personally, I don't know how that number is going to fit the house.. haha and it'll be an invasion of Malaysians at their residence :-P

Well, mid-July is finally here. In about 65days I'm going to be back in UK, to the cold and well into Autumn. I need to buy a coat :-( I want a nice expensive coat. lol. The coat I have now is lets some of the cold air in. I no like. Ah, I'm in need of shopping therapy. Ohh, I remember shopping with Qian once and that was exhausting.. :-S I will never understand why people go into five different stores just to check if there's something better only to come back to the first shop and buy that product. To me, if you like something, get it and that's it. No regrets, so don't bother checking if there's something better :-P

I see the wifey every now and then, she's been a doll lately listening to my troubles and lending an ear or two just to listen to my 'complications'. I love you babe, even though I know you are cheating on me with other people 8-) I saw her at the university on Tuesday.

oh gtg.
bye.

Qian's back in UK, and Mus is back in Loughborough.. and now we get more chances to have our usual group conversations online :-) It feels great to be talking to them again. Hehe, like the other day it was almost noon their time and Qian had to go to the bank.. and we didn't know if she was up yet and the bank closes at twelve.. *giggles* Nice one. They did make it to the bank. In fact, they walked there. :-P

I haven't done anything interesting over the weekend. I'm boooooored. Aimi and Lina slept over on Friday night, and we went out at like 8am to go to Aimi's brother's place.. and ate pancakes at Express and then ate again in Tutong, a district an hour away from where we live. o:-) Talk about having nothing to do.

I'm in my mother's bedroom right now, trying to convince myself that it's a good idea for me to go to the gym soon.. since netball is cancelled I might as well make the most of it when I actually show up for a gym session. Sigh. I miss playing basketball but I can't seem to find anyone to play with. I'm not in the mood to play with people I don't know because they have the tendency to irritate me when they play, they get cocky and in the end they make you not play on the court. PFFT. When's the MD tournament anyway? I'd want to watch that. And what's this about bball matches at Chung Hwa? Lessie them.

There was a mini BruStu meat at Yusrin's place on Saturday. I went there instead of having dinner with Hafiz and instead of having dinner with Mummy una :p And there's also the fact that Yusrin lives a mere 2 minutes away from me, meaning I can go home easily and quickly compared to sitting in the car for 30 minutes like I usually do when I'm on the way home from town. Yeshu, living WAY outside of Bandar and Gadong sure has its downsides. Cheers to Twisted and Moans who picked me up. lub yews kissses xoxoxxx!

So.

"Are you yasmin?" lol. what the farrrrrrk man! :-P

eh I just learnt Zidane's middle name is Yazid. oh wow. nice one. haha gila, it's one pm. aku mau jalan!!!!!!!

love,
yas.
xxxxxxx

Adeline's left Brunei. I didn't get to send her off because I didn't have transport and I was at UBD playing netball. I know I'll miss her and knowing that she's not around to pester me when she's bored feels so depressing. Fuh. I ought to be feeling guilty about not going to the airport to send her off, but I'm not because I know she's going to be fine in Perth. I know Eddie's going to be there to take care of her, I'm just sorry I couldn't give her a final hug on her first time leaving Brunei to continue her studies. :-) I love you darling, you're going to do great things in Perth. Play basketball there, join societies.. kick ass. I love you. xx

I've been bumming around at home, doing nothing. I've come to a realisation that I actually need to do something with my life other than go out, have drinks, go to the gym, play netball, eat out. I sound like I have too much of a social life, but how come I'm always feeling discontent? How come when J5 asks me, "are you happy?" I can never say yes? I'm just lost for words.

I wrote three pages of thoughts on my way here on the plane from UK, I gave them away for other people to read. If I typed it all out on my laptop, more than half of it would never ever reach anyones eyes. Haiz. I duno. Banyak fikir lah.

Okay. Dah akhir. I'm exhausted from playing netball everyday this week.

love,
yasmin.
xxxx

What's the point of me having a blog if I have to care what people think or say about the things I do or speak of? Censorship happens all the time, it occurs in your head before you say anything, it happens in news bullitens. Like, when you're out with a friend and you'd like to say something but you stop yourself because you don't want to offend them/let them know a fact. That's censorship. I've got like a million things I wish I could talk about, the things I put here are merely scratches of the surface. So yeah, don't tell me what I can or cannot say.

I've been thinking about whether I should continue on posting on unangelic, or if I should move out and make a new domain. I haven't really decided. I've got about six more months to decide that. Haiz.

Just uploaded new photos on to my flickr account. Qiqi and Jit left yesterday, but I got used to them leaving.. I usually am the first one to cry amongst us. I didn't spend as much time with Qi as I'd like, but considering she spent two weeks in Brunei and I wasn't around for almost a week while she was here.. we did pretty well.

I had netball yesterday, and will be having it again today. Fun :-P Playing the game is the best thing that's happened since I got here. :-) I heart the people I play with :-D

oh and fark, adebum is leaving on Friday. I got the fcuking dates wrong. I'm gonna miss you bum. Haaaii..

Kami boleh di katakan saudara dan sahabat sejati, kerana.. kami bertiga kuat bergila di siring jalan sambil mendengar mp3 kami yang bermain di nano kami. wtf. lol. Tuesday morning people! I'm aching everywhere and I woke up on the wrong side of the bed..so I'm cranky. Everyone is pissing me off and I almost lost my cool when I was on the phone just now. argh.

Men are such a headache.. but that doesn't stop you from loving them, cherishing them, caring for them. haiz. I tak tau lah, sometimes it's just stupid how things carry on in life. I'm just annoyed at how I am right now, procrastinating and not doing anything to make myself feel better.

I need to see a doctor soon about my bodily pains, I think it's stress. Maybe it's pressure. Maybe I'm dying? Nah. Just chest pains here and there, my legs ache every now and then.. maybe it's old age :-P I've got netball at UBD later with the ladies I've been playing with, I have no idea what some of them do for jobs. I know a few of them are teachers, and I'm the youngest one amongst them. But they're nice :-)

Adeline's leaving on Monday :-( She's going off to Perth to continue her studies.. and that means she's not coming to UK :-( :-( HAIZ. She's having a dinner thing tonight, but Len's also having a birthday bbq. Hmm. Sokay, their houses are like ten minutes of each other.

Qiqi and Jit's flight got delayed to 4:50PM instead of 12noon, so that means I'm not going to the gym today and will try and go tomorrow instead. I'm gaining weight. I think? I was talking to t. last night, and I asked him if I've gained weight since he last saw me. He was like, "your green contacts and your hair." Sheesh. It just shows how men don't listen. I was asking if I've looked like I gained weight, not if I've changed anything :-P Anyway, he said I look good. I'm such a weight freak. teehehe oh, but I :heart: t.

IM 19 and I DONT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE YET! lmao. Might get my provisional lisence today? I duno. We'll see. First thing to do is see the doctor.

okieee
baibaii!

Who knew?

Whenever I go out with my bestfriends, usually Qiqi and Jit, I sometimes feel like a third wheel because I'm just the odd one out with them. But when I think about it, they try their best to accomodate me. These two have been going out for a year++ now, they're a sweet couple and I'm very close to both of them. These days whenever I go out with my sister or a friend or two (I never go out alone now in fear of running into someone), I see couples walking around, cuddling, holding hands, etcetra, it hurts because I'm not with my significant other. Let's hope anyone's SO feels the same way.

Being in Brunei makes me feel lonely because I don't live 5 minutes away from friends I actually enjoy hanging out with, I don't live 5 minutes away from town. Things aren't the same as they were in Loughborough. In all honestly, I can't wait to go back because I miss life there. Living 'independently'.. haha meaning coming home late, no one to tell you when to go to bed, to tell you who you can or cannot go out with. Those are just choices you have to make on your own, depending on your moral issues :-P

I'll be living with my cousin and my senior next year in Loughborough. This should be interesting. I've been a perfect house guest at my senior's place throughout last year.. and now I'll be living with her. I hope I don't mess my bit up. Hehe :-)

I thought my head would clear up after I got back from Singapore, but now I realise I've just been avoiding my issues and problems. Things just build up in me, from people constantly 'advicing' me on how to live in the world to just people around me in general. I get irritated easily these days, hence the conflict and arguements that fly around the house. My head's just messed up, there are so many things that I can't say to my family and friends because it's just things they don't want to hear. How do I know this? I know this because they constantly remind me what they do want to hear. They don't want to listen to things that are bothering me because these 'things' shouldn't even be occuring in my life. So, what's left for me? There's nothing for me to talk about. I just have to keep it all in until I finally hurt so much inside and break down in my room. Like yesterday.

I'm going back to UK in the middle of September, but not on the same flight as my other cousin, H, who's going back two days earlier than me.. that bum, he should be on our flight. grr. He's changed a lot from who he was when he first arrived in England. Hehehe, I would like to say it's a positive change.. but it's still a shock for me and the family considering how he was brought up and who he is.

Oh god Brunei is hot. I've been sweating like mad.

hf, mm, qh: i miss you. xx 75 days babes. :-)

haiz.

love,
yas.
xxxxx

I'm back from Singapore and I'm feeling more relieved than when I first left. I have a number of things I need to settle, but I don't know when I'm going to get around to doing them. Being in Singapore never felt more carefree. I had fun there. A lot of fun.

Things to do:

1. J5 and I need to talk.
2. Buy my plane ticket back to London.
3. Refresh my wardrobe.

xxxxxxxx

I'm currently resizing and rotating images taken over the past few days.. nice :) I had a great weekend. Facial, family gathering, dim sum with the best friends, the works. I was gonna get my hair done, but I got convinced not to since it's not frizzy or discoloured or anything. :-P Nantitah when I have time.

I've been in Brunei for two weeks now, one of the first things I did was get a hair trim, eat Nasi Lemak (but no satay coz the shop closed D-: boo!!) In about a week, Qiqi and Jit will be going back to Brisbane, Aimi back to Melbourne.. Lina's going to start work in August. Haiz.

Okay. It's past midnight! tytytytytytyyyy!

lol.

gnight!!

ps. check out flickr for photo updates ;)

xxxxx