I remember back in the days when I would get into fights or just stupid arguments with people. As a result of that, I end up bottling up a lot of hate for a number of others I just really really don't like. My mum always reminds me that I shouldn't let it get to me, so I always manage to scrape up a smile on my face, whether I like (those ahead or in front of me) them or not. It's more of a political thing really, you don't really know who's going to be in your future or how they are going to influence it. Your best bet is just to be so nice to everyone. Eh, don't take my word for it because I might be wrong, but this is one way that I approach life.
There's a number of people that don't like me, and I know it. I find it amusing how when in a very crowded room and you only know one person in it (be it someone you like or dislike) you'd approach them and act like you've known one another forever. I guess that's just human intuition, to approach those you're more comfortable with, especially if they're the only ones you know. For example, there was once during a gathering there's this girl who I know wouldn't talk to me in front of her friends, in fact that was proven just three weeks ago, and yet when I was the only one she knew in the bloody crowd, she sought me out. Typical.
I suppose its okay not to like people, but hating them is a different matter. I suppose if you hate someone it's usually either because of jealousy (you can deny this but it's true) or because they've just done something you don't like. My dad always tells me that it's always easy to remember the bad things people do, but it's hard to remember the good.. but if we can, we should try and recall the better things other's have done. Anyway, never mind that, back to talking about hate. I remember once I said to my best friend, "I don't know why, but I hate her". She turned to me and said, "Maybe you hate her because she reminds you of you." Obviously my first reaction would be something like 'are you nuts?' but she's right. Luckily, I got over that drama and worked things out. I thought about what she said for a while, it did shut me up and it stayed in my head for a while. I didn't talk to her about it so much anymore, it didn't spew out of me so much. So I admit, I didn't like her because she did remind me of me. There was so much about me I didn't like back then and now I've realised all of this. I accept that people can change and that hating them in the first place wasn't worth all the anger I put inside of me.
Then there's the topic of not liking people. For myself, I'd like to think that I'm a particularly likable person. I'd say I'm the type of person you should actually meet (or get to know, which ever you fancy) and then decide what you think. It's really easy to judge a book by it's cover, I admit that I do that a lot when I meet someone. First impressions usually count. I know someone who picks her friends by their looks, but I'm not like that. My "friends" are in different shapes, colours and sizes. Anyhow, I know I take a while to warm up to someone, anyone, despite how friendly I seem (lol), I only let people scratch the surface first. It doesn't go any further. I have an issue with keeping friends, I've been very bad at it. I guess that's due to a scar inside (yeah I know, it's all in my head) that happened a few years back. I'm always close to someone for a while and then after that I let it drift away (like Ko J, Kev, Ken, Randy, etc). The only ones I know who have clawed their way back in (over and over) are my best of friends that I barely see. Maybe it'll work out again in the distant future, who knows?
I know I'm talking a lot about me, but I guess some things need to be let out for others to read. So how come I'm actually venting out this morning? I saw a photo of some girls who once threatened me. They always light up a fire in my eyes (and I don't mean a burning lust). Bullies are what I'd call them. I've got a few years to go to prove myself and until I do, maybe then I'd be able to get over all those years.
There's a number of people that don't like me, and I know it. I find it amusing how when in a very crowded room and you only know one person in it (be it someone you like or dislike) you'd approach them and act like you've known one another forever. I guess that's just human intuition, to approach those you're more comfortable with, especially if they're the only ones you know. For example, there was once during a gathering there's this girl who I know wouldn't talk to me in front of her friends, in fact that was proven just three weeks ago, and yet when I was the only one she knew in the bloody crowd, she sought me out. Typical.
I suppose its okay not to like people, but hating them is a different matter. I suppose if you hate someone it's usually either because of jealousy (you can deny this but it's true) or because they've just done something you don't like. My dad always tells me that it's always easy to remember the bad things people do, but it's hard to remember the good.. but if we can, we should try and recall the better things other's have done. Anyway, never mind that, back to talking about hate. I remember once I said to my best friend, "I don't know why, but I hate her". She turned to me and said, "Maybe you hate her because she reminds you of you." Obviously my first reaction would be something like 'are you nuts?' but she's right. Luckily, I got over that drama and worked things out. I thought about what she said for a while, it did shut me up and it stayed in my head for a while. I didn't talk to her about it so much anymore, it didn't spew out of me so much. So I admit, I didn't like her because she did remind me of me. There was so much about me I didn't like back then and now I've realised all of this. I accept that people can change and that hating them in the first place wasn't worth all the anger I put inside of me.
Then there's the topic of not liking people. For myself, I'd like to think that I'm a particularly likable person. I'd say I'm the type of person you should actually meet (or get to know, which ever you fancy) and then decide what you think. It's really easy to judge a book by it's cover, I admit that I do that a lot when I meet someone. First impressions usually count. I know someone who picks her friends by their looks, but I'm not like that. My "friends" are in different shapes, colours and sizes. Anyhow, I know I take a while to warm up to someone, anyone, despite how friendly I seem (lol), I only let people scratch the surface first. It doesn't go any further. I have an issue with keeping friends, I've been very bad at it. I guess that's due to a scar inside (yeah I know, it's all in my head) that happened a few years back. I'm always close to someone for a while and then after that I let it drift away (like Ko J, Kev, Ken, Randy, etc). The only ones I know who have clawed their way back in (over and over) are my best of friends that I barely see. Maybe it'll work out again in the distant future, who knows?
I know I'm talking a lot about me, but I guess some things need to be let out for others to read. So how come I'm actually venting out this morning? I saw a photo of some girls who once threatened me. They always light up a fire in my eyes (and I don't mean a burning lust). Bullies are what I'd call them. I've got a few years to go to prove myself and until I do, maybe then I'd be able to get over all those years.
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