Just got back from the pool, I'm feeling a little water clogged. Now I'm getting ready to head out and have lunch with pekos at Maxin probably. I don't really like going to that place at the start of the day, probably because it's a) fast food, b) they fry the chicken and stuff -- bebau bah. The oil aroma somehow sticks to your skin, your hair (omg my hairr!!).. and I just washed my hair. sighh.

I went to Nottingham yesterday, met up with an old friend. We watched Eagle eye (lol if you haven't seen it -- I'm spoiling it!!), I think it would have been a better ending if Jerry died.. baru cool. :-) It felt funny, going out without certain people -- being alone with someone new, not doing my usual routine of nothingness. I've been kept busy the past three weeks, supplied with endless pizzas and people answering me at my beck and call. lol.

I'm kind of glad I stepped down, I think if I didn't then I wouldn't have time for all of the things I'm doing right now. It was like walking out of the place I had been most comfortable with -- in a way, I needed to walk out of my comfort zone because it felt crampy in there anyway. I wasn't getting along with the ideas and notions being thrown about, and there was always a conflict of ideas and I admit, I'm not very happy when things don't go my way but I suppose the others felt the same way when their ideas were shut down. So it's a good thing I left when I did.

Funny though, I felt shut out the moment I walked out. It felt weird because I usually knew what was going on and about around here, and they shut me out completely. I didn't know jack and there have been a few times I wasn't happy with that they were doing and how they were doing it. Suppose I should just sit back and watch -- being offered to become advisor was something I couldn't do, not from the way I felt over the whole thing. How can I work with something I didn't believe in anymore? It was still my baby (okay, maybe not just mine but I did keep the damn thing stable) and it was time to just let go and let it grow. Let it go.

I suppose that's what gratitude gets you. No one ever remembers the good things you've done.

With sports, again, shut out. I kind of wonder who's idea it was to forget about me, but now I've made a decision, I'll stick to it. I just hope no one else will regret it. I won't forget because they've simply not reminded themselves of who I am and what I can do.

aahh.. forgive the vagueness. There are many things I'd like to say right now. But maybe next week. Wait til it's all over.

love,

y