Formats.

I don't post on the site for over a week and you complain! lol =) I love you guys too. I just don't feel like posting nowadays because I don't have much to say unless you want to read about me being all giddy and happy again, coz these days.. I AM. Oh yeah, Adeline closed down bittersweet. Silly butt. Oh well, she doesn't post much there anyway. Bye Bittersweet. I will miss flooding your tag board *evil grin* Oh that's a photo of me and Rach when she slept over a while ago =P

I typed up my personal statement on Tuesday with intentions of passing it in by Wednesday. Unfortunately for me, I was absent on Wednesday. I've been sick since last weekend (thank you Aimi =P) I was too weak to get out of bed on Monday and Tuesday, and my mom decided I was still too sick for school on Wednesday as well. Heh. Mum and dad did, however, take me to the clinic on that very Wednesday. The doctor didn't do anything new, she gave me the usual pills.. Antibiotics, cough and headache pills. Da da da. I had a cold I guess? She didn't really say. Blegh, no one has ANY idea how BORING it is to stay home. The boyfriend (hahahahaa nada wah baby), heheh yeah ANYWAY.. Reza says I'm a geek for loving school. Whateeevveerrr.. The last time I posted was on Tuesday, last week. And I cannot believe how many people msgd me on MSN...hahaha Its like, "yas, you know you haven't posted since Tuesday". Oh yea REALLY? =P

I would have thought that the 15th of June was the day that I'd dread most.. every year. It's been that way for the past two years probably. What sucks is that I can't seem to forget things back then, and right now.. as much as I'd love to deny it, it did hurt.. but not so much because someone I love told me if I want to forget I'm going to have to let go.. and here I am, trying. I'll make it one day I hope. One of these days, there will come a day when the thought of what was then doesn't even cross my mind.. In many ways, time will always heal broken hearts and memories will be long forgotten. Maybe not today, tomorrow, next week or even next month.. one day.

I went to the Too Phat concert on Saturday night. I met up with Rz there because Reza didn't want to go with me. Blegh. Anyways, I hung out with Rz and a bunch of our other friends. We got to sit in the front because the security didn't do any checks so we just walked in and sat in the second front row seats. Goddammn. The concert didn't meet my expectations, I'm just glad that half way during the concert, Reza decided to come along.. hehe =D so yeah, I sat in between my two Rezas. hahaha =D Rz got to perform on stage with Reshmanu (sp?), that was the first time I've seen him on stage despite having listened to all his mp3 songs.. I didn't go to his first ever performance because … I don't remember and he still has grudges about it. ehe =) but I'm proud of him. I stayed home the whole Saturday morning and afternoon, didn't really do much except hung out with Reza and made brownies. We watched Sgt. Bilko on Cinemax. Haha it was hilarious.

In Business Studies, we're covering Unit 4 of the AQA course which meant we were studying Accountancy and Finance in a deeper perspective. Guess what? Yasmin doesn't have to listen. Do you know why? Because we're learning about basic accounting.. pssh, so year 10 stuff. Haha Sigh, I guess it just puts me in the advance level of the class. So, when I was absent during the three days.. my teacher said I picked the best time to be absent because I didn't miss a thing.

I found out that I'm going to have two accounting teachers next year. The usual one and (hums Jaws theme song), my business teacher. Goddamn. That's going to mean I might end up seeing my business teacher TWICE in a day. Oh my god. I guess I don't mind that much because he is a very cool Australian teacher.. hahaha he's funny >.< Back in Year 10 and 11, he was my accounting teacher. He's the one who is always trying to stop me from doing my work because I'm always ahead of the class =P

I went over to the best friend (lol, wassup babyjoe ;D), Rz's crib on Wednesday. I just finished seeing the doctor and decided to pay him a visit because HE'S ALWAYS ALWAYS unavailable to me. Hmpfz. ehehe I texted him and he said that I should come over in about an hour and a half..haha guess who managed to shorten that to 15 mintues? ;D ehehe Anyways, I made him sick..haha he's coughing and he has the same symptoms as I did, do.. never mind, I'm still sick.

I saw Rz again on Thursday, and on Friday. We watched Honey yesterday at the mall with little Wafi, Irwan and this other guy..haha I don't remember his name because I didn't talk to him at all cz he's shyyyy.. I see a lot of people hanging around Gadong nowadays.. macam inda balik rumah saja.. hahaha lol, yea whatever yas, look who's talking =P

Today, I hung out with Reza <3 at the Mall. Antah eh, he killed my feet. Hahaha I picked a fine day to wear my goddamn heels and a frigging skirt. lol =P He didn't want to layan me when I wanted to eat.. God, he's evil. He's MEAN.. but I'm dating him. hehehe =) I love you xoxo. I went out with mumsy early this morning after we dropped off my sister and Karen in Gadong. She bought me make up! hehehe =D Yeah I'm having a seriously good weekend. Speaking of Karen, she's been sleeping over since I don't know. lol, plus mum doesn't seem to mind. And I like her around. =)

Oh yeah, I got to clear this up.. I'm YARZ..not Yasz. Yasz is a rapper from Singapore who used to (still does?) live in Brunei. hehehe please straighten that out.. I don't rap and I don't do music beats ;D

Kwang kwaaannngg.. HOLIDAYS ARE IN TWO WEEKS! baby finishes his attachment next week, then I'm going to see his face every day (or so he claims =P I bet you can't do it!!) for TWO months. I love you =) Anyways, it's late.. and tomorrow's a SUNDAY and I have to wake up early because mum wants me to make her biscuits in the morningggg..

A2 Commences.

Today was the first day back for all the Year 12's. We're now the 'supposedly' Year 13s. How cool is that. We're like the senior-est students. Anyways, out of the many many students that Key Stage 5 has.. less than twenty Year 12 students came to school today which may have been a great disappointment to the teachers, tutors, head of years and the senior staff. Tsk! lol =) I'm glad I came though, the teachers were like "you did the right thing", and there I was thinking, "why am I even in schooooooooool?" I slept late the night before, probably around midnight and my alarm went off at 5:30am. Sigh, I pressed the snooze button like 3 times to get an extra half hour of sleep.

We applied for UCAS today, it's so cool that it lets us search courses and stuff. I know that I'll definately be doing accountancy and finance in a university in *hopefully* UK, and I'm aiming to get into a uni in London. =) First period was maths, and it's week B. If it were week A, I'd be having TRIPLE study period.. i.e. three free periods (45 mins x 3 = 2 hours and 15 mins of free time) and then I'd be having break.. add another 20 minutes to that..haha niceee =D

Y'know what I did which was weird and out of the world? My business teacher offered to the class to either do the work he just gave out (which included drawing break even charts, reading about sensitivity analysis and etc.) or help him clear out his books and sort out his papers. There were 4 of us in the class, the three girls volenteered to help him with the papers and books.. guess what I did? heheh, clearing out the books and papers meant labour.. sooo.. I did the work he gave out and had more fun doing it :P eheh I love calculations and drawing break even charts, they're so cool. lol =) My tutor was impressed that I did that..haha he told me =P I had a double free period today, right after lunch.. I should have just went home and slept. haha I didn't do anything until school ended except surf around Brutalk. Interesting stuff there.. Brandon was telling me about it and it was my first time visiting the site or even hearing the web address.. I even surfed around the way back machine.. eheh try typing in UnAngelic. It's so cool, Brandon showed me the site ages ago..and it was the most 'romantic' thing I've ever experience..haha especially when you're a web geek like me. lol =)

In todays ever changing world, and fast pace lifestyles..(okay this isn't going to make much sense), have you ever stopped to think if anyone struggles to keep up? Everything is rapidly changing, and I never noticed that there were different groups of teens existing in Brunei. It's ignorant of me, but its true. Teens in Brunei are divided, most of us follow a similar dress code: pair of jeans, t-shirt and a pair of sport shoes.. and that whole outfit would usually consist of at least ONE Nike item. Weird huh? =) Well yeah, that's for me and most of the guys. The girls, it's bootleg jeans, a party-24/7 top and two-three inch heels or platforms. Okay, maybe that's just me being ignorant but honestly, thats how I see things. Anyway, just recently I saw a whole new group emerge.. jeng jeng jeng~ (hums to the Jaws theme song). lol. I saw these bunch of so called punkers around Gadong. I found them quite interesting actually, how they allowed themselves to be set apart from the usual groups you'd see around. Never mind, that whole paragraph is nonsense.

ANYWAY..

I received this offensive email, well..its not offensive directly towards me because it's talking about someone else. It's stupid. I don't like it when people fwd emails, especially about someone local and advertising them like they're pieces of cheap paper. Geez, give people some privacy and respect. I find it offensive because it's about a woman with kids, and its obvious this guy is either an ex-lover or obsesive maniac.. he ought to leave her alone and not make her sound so bad.. agh. He should burn..

I've been getting a lot of headaches lately. The teachers said that we should use these four weeks to unwind from the AS exam stress we had over the month. A lot of people have been telling me that I've gained weight and now I'm just freaking out. I'm paranoid when it comes to my body and my face.. guess I should stop eating so much. Ever since study leave started, I've been stuffing my face non-stop. Thank god school has started so I can control what I eat again.. and now, I don't have basketball until the acedemic year restarts in August.. I don't know about netball, but I'm certainly going to be free from Tuesday to Friday. I think I'll just go to the gym after school with Hadi and Rz if they want to accompany me..or just go alone. We'll see. I might even go tomorrow.. an hour at the gym would do me so much good. lol =) I wanna learn how to use weights. ehehe

Strange and beautiful.

Why do people always snoop around to find things they know they won't like? Blegh. I haven't posted properly since Thursday morning. I made cookies a few days ago, I must've made at least 8 dozen batches. I gave some to my friends, and I think I enjoy cooking :) Anyways, I was suppose to meet up with my best friend, Reza (but we'll call him rz to avoid confusion between him and the guy I'm seeing), on Friday.. sadly enough he couldn't make it but I met up with Hadi, Khalid, Tubbies, Fatzeem and Hakim instead. I think I stayed in Gadong til about half past nine. I met up with my baby before I left..hehe I hadn't seen him for a week.. sigh it sucks cos I only get to see him on weekends because he's staying in Seria on weekdays.

I had a date with Reza <3 at 10:45am on Saturday morning. But I had problems about getting there so I ended up arriving at noon. Hehe, he thought I was gonna stand him up. I had lunch with him at excapade. We've been having lunch there every Saturday, apparently his aim is to get me sick of sushi. It's not gonna work baby, you ought to know by now how much I love sushi. heheh :P. Anyways, I watched the Punisher with him..hehe Rz came with Hadi and fatzeem, but they sat a couple of rows in front of us. The movie was great, I found it hilarious..hehehe I think I bursted out laughing too loudly. HAHAHAHA but the part where the bad guy killed his wife was seriously funny.. I was the only one who laughed though, I think everyone in the cinema was just to shocked :P

After the movie, Reza and I hung out with Rz and the guys. We met up with Khalid as well, and ate at McDonalds. I had to leave while rz was having a haircut. man, it really felt good to see my best friend again =) even though we don't really talk much in front of people..ehe but hey, people don't really know what goes on behind closed doors. xoxo

Today, I met up with Reza again in Gadong. No, we didn't stuff our faces..hahaha man, every date I have with him.. we're always eating. =P Yeah anyway, met up with him after lunch.. and me, I'm always hungry so I made him go with me to West Street to get french fries. hehe =) and I had shumai at the food court. So fine, I stuffed my face. He didn't. We had long talks today about how things are..hehe and I'm glad that things have turned out this way. Personally, I'm grateful that I have met him. Sigh =) He's like my twin; attitude wise. Hahaha we have so many common traits, except sometimes I find him weird due to his funny phobias. I think he knows me well enough now since we've been dating for almost two months now. I saw Himah and Ruzanna at the Mall and McDs. Man, those two..ehehe I miss them tons. It always feels good to see old friends, the ones whos friendship you know will last with you forever. =) They're seriously good friends of mine from my old STPRI and primary school days.

A lot has happened the past few days. Reza's back in Seria.. 6 days til I see him again. ehe though right now it feels like forever. I'm gonna meet up with rz probably on Wednesday and we might watch a movie at the mall. He's gonna be here for two months or so =) YAY. Hehehe he's got a LOT of explaining to do and we have a LOT of catching up to do because we haven't been talking to each other properly for over a month now because of exams and very busy social lives.. *wink* I think we're gonna watch the Big Nite Out on the 19th of June this week, Too Phat's performing. =)

Anyway, it's late and I have an exam in about 16 hours. eheh so, good night.
xoxo.

twhhOOmp.

What did I do today? I think I'll just list them out since it's late.

1. I got to see Reza today <3 even though I was like, almost two hours late for our date and he actually thought I was gonna stand him up. lol =)

2. My other Reza, the guy who is supposedly my best friend in the whole world, is back in Brunei and I got to see him today as well. He cut his hair and we made fun of him while sitting down at the salon.

3. I hung out with a number of my favourite people today, i.e. Reza, Reza, Hadi, Khalid and fatzeem

4. I watched the Punisher and I found the part where the bad guy killed his wife funny..ahahah I laughed so hard.

5. I saw a lot of people today.. saw Chua, Hazie (!!!!!!) Brit, Ummie, Sofian, Iggy and a whole bunch of other JIS people.

6. I ate at excapade, food court, mcdonalds... o_O

7. I didn't go to a single girlie store today.

8. I HAD SO MUCH FUN.

promises.

I just got back from school a few hours ago. Sat my OCR Mechanics 1 paper. It was not good. I didn't like it except for the last question, which was the one I thought I'd get stuck on so I revised that one like crazy.. and the other questions turned out to be worse. Sigh, guess today wasn't that much of a perfect day. I was jittery and had pre-exam nerves. It really wasn't my day.

Here's an interesting article: (click, courtesy of Brandon)

Regular sex helps students
A German sociologist Werner Habermehl says regular sex can help university students pass exams and get better grades.

Habermehl from the University of Hamburg said he and his team had tested students before and after sex.

They found that regular sexual activity significantly increased mental capability, but they found celibate students found it harder to make the grade.

As well as decreasing the length of time needed to complete a course, students with a healthy sex life also received better marks, said Habermehl.

The research was carried out together with German research institute GEWIS.

*giggle* Sigh, anyway.. I'm currently chatting with Brandon, we're talking about the mechanics exam. Rach is online as well, we're talking about her exam..read the tagboard to get a vague idea how she's feeling. Anyways, I'm going out with Kaka Fizah tomorrow to watch Harry Potter and her brothers' might join us, I'm not that sure. I'm meeting up with Khalid and maybe Hadi before that though. Oh, my best friend's back. YAY Reza Mustappa is back. YAY. YAY. YAY. I'm gonna see him on Friday. YAY. YAY. YAY. After one year of not seeing him in the flesh, let's hope he's bulked up ;D ehe mwahs. missed ya babyjoe. hugs.

I've got a lot on my mind right now. I don't know why I'm hurting so much.. I can't really start pointing fingers. It's just not right. I'm thinking about the promises I've been given by people, most of them have been broken. I guess that's why I don't bring myself to make promises to anyone because I know there will be a point when I can't keep them. Everything feels like a burden right now, my head hurts and I feel like crying. It's not right is it?

I remember dating this guy who used to tell me I was his world. I always wondered if girls actually fell for that line the way I did. I guess I was too guilble to see what was really going on around me because to me, he was my world. As a result of having 'love' blind me, I had everything that had meant everything turn around and slap me. Now, eventhough I can say that I have slowly moved on (not fully, but I'm getting there), I know I will always think back every now and then.. because that's part of life.. reliving memories.

I've got beautiful friends. They do mean something to me.. and yet, they still cannot see what really goes on in my eyes. I don't really confide in people that much, not even to my closest friends. I find it hard to let people see what happens inside of my morbid thoughts because I don't know how to trust people that much anymore. You see, almost four years ago.. I saw my life shatter in front of me.. I had my heart broken. I know that as of that point in time, I will never trust anyone as much as I used to. blegh.

Geez, I wonder why I'm still up at this time of night. I think I'll go to bed now.. I miss Ade and Rach. I wonder how you girls are doing? Nyah. I wish you would use the commenting system =P I mean, that's what its there for right? hehe hugs. I put it up for ADE and the other people who TAGGED and said that I SHOULD put it in. God I miss you two..

I'm wondering.

I sat for my AQA business papers about three hours ago. The first paper was at 5:30pm til 6:30pm. I can shamefully say that I messed that paper up, because I took long doing the calculation question.. and somehow didn't get enough time to answer the last two questions. Sigh. It sucks, but hopefully I made up for it in my Unit 2 and Unit 3 papers with the ScrewLoose Ltd case study. I'm listening to Hoobastank - The Reason. I remember agreeing with Reza that this was a great song..and that we both liked the group. I wonder what else we have in common. hehe =)

I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I'm really hungry right now, I don't really know why because I just ate some pieces of bread. I ate up a bag of Lays Salt and Vinegar potato chips during the exam breaks just now with Kenneth. I've been chatting with Brandon, Khalid and Yazid. Someone said this to me about 10 minutes ago, it's cheered me up like crazy because I'm feeling a bit depressed with how everything is going on around me: "you know i really love you.. more then most of your crappy boyfriends prolly have XD and if you're still not married in 20 yrs, and neither am i, i'll be hitting on you.. by then, give me a chance yea? XD XD" heheh, only God knows who said that to me..ehe =) I'll give it some thought okay? haha 20 years, fat chance sweetie ;P

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I wonder if its the same for everyone about the changes in their lives. Here I am, learning and trying not to blame myself about the things that have been happening to me and other people. Here I am, just simply struggling. Here I am, empty and completely apart from the person I'd like to be and who I really am.

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I wonder if every teenage girl goes through the various stages of confusion, frustration and anger? Nah, I'm not angry. In many ways, I feel a bit content.. and maybe a little bit frustrated. I feel like crying actually, and I let out a lot of things just now..that I think I mean. No, not think. I know I mean. I'm risking a step, but who cares. I wouldn't do it unless I know it'll benefit me.. In a year's time, I see us.. happy, sitting down at our favourite cafe, drinking and laughing. So am I wrong to take that risk or even take a chance of being happy again?

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I probably don't make any sense right now throughout the whole post.. but never mind, that's one title wasted =P dum de dum. I miss you baby =D

Scars eventually fade.

That's true right? I received a testimonial from an old friend of mine. I totally have forgotten about the incident back in form 1 when I touched a tripod stand that had been heated by a burnsen burner. I had three shiney lines on three fingers of my right hand. I looked at my hand this morning and realize that the so-called scars from the burn have faded. I guess memories will eventually be hidden, buried somewhere along with angered thoughts and compleling forgiveness. I wonder how long it'll take me to let go of memories that I've held on to so long.. I guess, in a way, I am taking baby steps.. walking away from it. I guess, somehow, I'll eventually take long strides and simply forget. Right now is not the time for it, it'll come sooner or later.. just not now.

I had a lot to think about.

My cousin slept over last night, we went to bed around midnight and were both reading novels before actually drifting off into dreamland. We didn't even talk before going to bed. Haha, but we had nice conversations in the car which was totally cool because I prefer talking outside the house rather than in.

I'm sitting here thinkin' about
How I'm gonna do without
You around in my life
And how am I gon' get by
Ain't got no days, just lonely nights
If you want the truth, well I'm not alright
Feel out of place, and out of time
I think I'm gonna lose my mind
I woke up around eight past, because I could her my cousin's younger brothers screaming downstairs playing with the fooseball table. I have had strange dreams before, and I always take my dreams seriously. I don't really know why but I guess its because at most times, my dreams are like predictions and I have a weird sixth sense. Even though they act like predictions, they don't exactly happen word for word.. but some of the things that happen in my dreams do happen. It's just freakishly weird.

So tell me how you feel (I'm lonely)
Are you for real (so lonely)
Do you still think of me (I think of you)
Baby still (you only)
Do you dream of me at night
(It's like I dream you all the time) so lonely
Oh let me tell you how it feels
(It's like everday I die)
Wish I was dreamin' but it's real
(When I open up my eyes)
Oh let me tell you how it feels
(And don't see your pretty face)
I think that I will never love again
Funny, because I woke up this morning with full of mixed emotions. I feel sad, and yet at the same time I feel relieved. I feel happy and yet, at the same time I'm holding back my tears. I've been going through a lot I'd like to think, and seeing things I didn't wish to see didn't really help me much either.. but in a way, I should have known that things would turn out the way they did. Sometimes I am grateful that they have, but there are times when I'd just curse those people to the other direction of heaven.

I miss your face, I miss your kiss
I even miss the arguments
That we would have from time to time
I miss you standing by my side
I'm dying here, it's clear to see
If there ain't no you, God knows there ain't no me
Don't wanna live, I wanna die
If I can't have you in my life
I am totally head over heels over someone. I'd like to think of it as a good thing, I would say.. but I guess I've got a lot of thinking and re-thinking to do before I do anything that might involve another session of happiness mixed with emotions of sadness and probably sandbags of tears (heh, didn't make sense did it now?) never mind, that's between me and my thoughts. Let's just say that I'm totally happy and I'm grateful that I've met my someone.

I've got a bruise on my arm. I bruise too easily, I don't know. Blegh, I think it's from an accident I had just now when I accidently banged into Reza's watch. Maybe. I met up with ko Jay and Jon today after not seeing the both of them for maybe over three/four months. I was eating with Kaka Fizah when ko Jay, Jon and Rez came to join out table. =) Ko and Jon went to watch Harry Potter. I watched the movie with my mum and sis on Thursday afternoon, personally.. I think the movie could have been better (i.e. it wasn't all that). Despite the hype that the movie's created, it wasn't as good as the first one or the second one. I lothed both the movies, but I'll say this now: both movies were seriously much much better.

I still haven't seen the day after tomorrow movie, Rez says it's not that good. Mum and dad loved it :S I don't know. I guess I'll have to find out myself ey. I'm gonna watch Harry Potter again on Thursday cz I'm bringing Kaka out. it feels weird typing up kaka..haha because those of you who know me.. I don't have an older sister, a real one for that matter..haha Kaka Fizah's my mum's younger sister's daughter. She's the only one I refer to as just 'kaka' where as all my other cousins will have the full uh, name.

I'm online now, chatting with Reza from Pakistan and Hadi. Both are very close to me. ehehe and VERY open to me. haha =)

Tonight and yesterday were confession days..hehe an 'outpour' of emotions right baby? =) I'm thankful though. I miss you like crazyyy though.. 5 days til I see you again =) blegh, so long. miss ya! xoxo.

One week plus til school starts again.

I can wait for school to start. By then, my batch.. the year 12 August batch will be officially known as the senior-est batch (other than the Year 13 Jan people). Cool eh. I don't know. I'm just feeling a little reluctant to see school start again. Sigh, we'll be starting with the A2 course as soon as we come back. I duno, I guess I have a lot of things to think about. Thankfully, we'll only have about four weeks of school before summer holidays which should last about a month plus.

Funny thing this friendster, I don't sign in for about a day and I ended up with 30+ messages :S It's so hard to reply or even read them one by one. Sigh, espeed2 isn't as cracked up as its suppose to be, unless maybe there's a problem with my computer. It's receiving but it's not sending? Someone help me out here please?

Sigh. My head hurts.

Ade, Rach.. I miss you both. I've been depressed again, and nothing seems to be working..we'll hang out soon k. I've js been really busy. I miss you both. xoxo. love you.

I wish I was dreaming but it's real.

[note] I typed this up on Wednesday, June 2nd 2004 around 18:30hours. So, heheh yeah.. think about it. I was extremely angry.. words cannot describe how I felt that day [/note]
I just got back from Supasave Gadong, and lets say I'm not in any of my good moods. I just finished ?my AS accounting exam which was pretty okay besides the last question which was utter bullshit because I only had a rough idea of what they were asking and well, the other kids (other THREE students) had a hard time answering it as well. The multiple choice I sat through was alright I suppose, the questions weren't hard but they weren't that easy either. I had to change most of the answers I wrote down the first time because after 30 minutes, that's when your brain actually starts to gear up properly. I answered the MCT with the first answers in 30minutes, but after going through them again.. I realize most of my answers were far from perfect. Other than that, and after re-doing and rubbing out the wrong answers, I think I did pretty well. The structured questions however, a.k.a. paper 2 AS accounting was blegh. The first question was about ratios, which I had already learnt by heart back in the IGCSE days of accounting about two years back. Thank god for that. Then there were the 'comment on your findings' part and there were things like what are the advantages and disadvantages of rations. Yup, did that. Hopefully that stuff allowed me to score close to perfect marks. The second questions, which Brandon and I had hoped to come out was the partnerships. I'm not sure, but I think I mixed up my balances and forgot where I should put my salary in the current accounts.. blegh. I don't know eh. Hopefully, it'll turn out okay. I hope and I'll pray that I do because I didn't exactly get ANY time whatsoever to recheck my answers. The last 30 minutes of my 90 minute exam was spent on the third? and final question which was about comparison of options and finding profits for the company it was talking about. Yes, that was the one that I think is utter bullshit because I cannot believe that I spent 30 WHOLE minutes just trying to finish it up. I didn't even get a CHANCE to go through my other previous questions to check if my answers were okay or not. I didn't even get a chance to CHANGE any of the answers that I had rethought about. Blegh, it was utter utter crap. Okay, enough ranting about my exam. On to my ranting about Supasave. All I wanted was to buy four slices of meat. The guy ignores me, and I was NOT in a good mood. When his friend comes up to me and asks me what I want, I am on the verge of screaming. So, I control myself and say "never mind" and walk away but under my breath as I walk past the guy who was SUPPOSE to serve me earlier, I start cursing him and well, I feel like killing him right now. I'm so fucking pissed off right now. Today, I woke up at 8:30am. I'm never in a good mood in the morning anymore not since the election announcements. I couldn't care any less about the schools conditions and everything that's in it. I'm still frigging hurt about not getting a position in the council, but that doesn't really matter because now, the school ranks somewhere in the bottom of my proriety list. Now, I don't even want to bother. It sucks that I didn't get anything, yeah so the voting system was democratic. Screw you. You're not the one, the ONLY one, out of the seven that stood up for elections and NOT get a blood position. I was the ONLY one. How .. what's the word.. never mind, how the hell do you think I feel? I'm not embarassed. No, of course not. I'm hurt. SIX out of SEVEN that stood up got in, yeah. SOMEONE had to be kicked out right? I was unlucky enough to be THAT person. Argh. School starts again on the 15th, that's in two weeks time. Oh how dandy. The night before that will be my physics exam. Whooptedo. Blegh. Okay, enough bitching.

I'm trying to calm down, but the more I try.. the more frustrated I feel. I've got a bad temper, especially when I don't get what I want or when I'm not able to get things to go my way. I'm bad at pretending that nothings wrong because most people can see from my eyes or when I'm quiet. I can be such a pain when I'm ticked off, you can ask any of my friends. Sigh, but I usually try to brush off negative thoughts and vibes off me because it's not right to be angry I guess. At most times, I can be patient.. but I can only be patient up to an extent. That's when things begin to build up and my anger would be 1000x worse. I'm horrible and I guess it's my fault for allowing tension inside me to build up. Antah eh.

You know what's even more frustrating? I'm OFFLINE while I'm typing this and e-speed2 is being a pain. The connection is saying that it's at 12.0Mbps, but the sending packets of data are so low that it's NOT moving. Sigh, maybe it's my computer. I'm done with this. Sigh, I'm outta place and out of my mind.. It's been three hours since I typed up this post. I'm feeling slightly better thanks to some people. I saw my angel just now in his car, doubt that he noticed my car passing by his. Doesn't matter. I was texting with Reza in Paki, yesterday. Silly bumz didn't know I was having my exams. =)

I'm a genius.

Actually, I wanted the title to be 'im a fucking genius' but never mind. I just finished installing espeed2 in the computer downstairs, and now I'm suppose to install the wireless around the house. Blegh, can't do it yet because I can't find the plugs that connects the wireless modem to the pc. Oh well, I'll look for it later. Mum and dad think I'm this computer prodigy, uh. Okay. I don't agree, but it doesn't really matter. I got a C for my IGCSE back in Year 11 which felt like a slap in the face. I'll admit to it now, I suck at theory. But hey, who uses theory in the art of computers anyhow? "what is a virus?" how the hell am I suppose to know?

got this off eng hock via e-mail. eheh thanks babes.

I feel sick.

I was browsing through these various websites.. and now I feel sick. No offense to those sites, but some people just make me feel so fucking bloody sick. It's disgusting. Blegh. I've got my accounting exam this afternoon, wish me luck on that. I'm dressed for it already, I'm suppose to be going somewhere with my mum.

I stuck myself in front of the pc yesterday and ended up reading two Wicca books, the first and second. I can't start on the third one yet because my sister lent it out to her friend. I'm annoyed. I hate lending out books to people who never return them. Sigh, hopefully her friend will so I can carry on reading because I keep getting the images of the scenes from the book in my head. I see them in my dreams, shit. I gotta finish reading the series..how ever many there can be.

I'm a freak when it comes to books. Get me started on the series type and you'll see me start from the first book all the way til they stop publishing them. Heheh, yes I'm that type.

Anyway, mum's calling me to go downstairs now.

later.

Busy?

[added] nayt is up and running with a new layout made by ME. ehehe GO THERE NOW. mwah! xoxox
luv,
yarz.[/added]

I was talking to my angel yesterday, and he always makes friggin' sense and I guess that's why at times I'd call him my savior. I love him to bits and I don't think he will ever know that because he's ignorant and refuses to acknowledge that fact. It doesn't really matter right now because even if he does read this, he's not gonna know that I'm talking about him. Sooo.. anyway.

I've been browsing around through my friendster, it's so cute. There is, without doubt, no day that I won't receive a message from a person I don't know at all.. saying something among the lines of "wanna be friends?" Personally, I don't mind all these e-mails, but heck.. they get a bit annoying. Heheh, but keep them coming.. They're funny though but I don't usually respond because I allow friendster to let anyone add me as their 'friend'. The only ones I reply to are the people with common interests with me, for example the whole book interest thing. So far, I've met four people who like reading Fearless by Francine Pascal. I'm waiting for Book #33 and The Silent Hand to come out. It should be out by now. Anyway, I think it's cool meeting people with similar interests as me. I've met people who love BUSTED as much as I do. I'ts all in fun right.

Anywayyy.. I've got a commenting system now. Only ONE of you uses it :p ehehe use it use it! blegh. I'm clearing out the folders in my site. Deleting everything that I don't know about.. and umm.. yeah. I'm deleting most of the folders except for those I know are my hostees. dumdedum.

I've been stuffing my face all dayyy.. I miss Reza. ba da ba bum. I went out yesterday to Gadong. I wanted to watch Day after tomorrow, but it was full. I hung out with Rez at West Street Cafe. Just sat there with him and talked for hours. hahaha I don't know what we talked about, but we did :P We had sushi before that with Hafiz at Excapade. BEFORE that we were at Takara. So there were like four of us: me, Rez, Hafiz and Ping. Hehe eating green tea ice cream. Rez and Ping had a wasabi fight. lol, man.. it was seriously funny. Hehehehehee talk about 'manly' challenges.. WHATEVER.. lol. Before takara, we were at the food court.. stuffing our faces again. These guys make me eat too much. lol :P

babbyyyyyy i misssss youuuuuuuuuuuu