I wish I was dreaming but it's real.

[note] I typed this up on Wednesday, June 2nd 2004 around 18:30hours. So, heheh yeah.. think about it. I was extremely angry.. words cannot describe how I felt that day [/note]
I just got back from Supasave Gadong, and lets say I'm not in any of my good moods. I just finished ?my AS accounting exam which was pretty okay besides the last question which was utter bullshit because I only had a rough idea of what they were asking and well, the other kids (other THREE students) had a hard time answering it as well. The multiple choice I sat through was alright I suppose, the questions weren't hard but they weren't that easy either. I had to change most of the answers I wrote down the first time because after 30 minutes, that's when your brain actually starts to gear up properly. I answered the MCT with the first answers in 30minutes, but after going through them again.. I realize most of my answers were far from perfect. Other than that, and after re-doing and rubbing out the wrong answers, I think I did pretty well. The structured questions however, a.k.a. paper 2 AS accounting was blegh. The first question was about ratios, which I had already learnt by heart back in the IGCSE days of accounting about two years back. Thank god for that. Then there were the 'comment on your findings' part and there were things like what are the advantages and disadvantages of rations. Yup, did that. Hopefully that stuff allowed me to score close to perfect marks. The second questions, which Brandon and I had hoped to come out was the partnerships. I'm not sure, but I think I mixed up my balances and forgot where I should put my salary in the current accounts.. blegh. I don't know eh. Hopefully, it'll turn out okay. I hope and I'll pray that I do because I didn't exactly get ANY time whatsoever to recheck my answers. The last 30 minutes of my 90 minute exam was spent on the third? and final question which was about comparison of options and finding profits for the company it was talking about. Yes, that was the one that I think is utter bullshit because I cannot believe that I spent 30 WHOLE minutes just trying to finish it up. I didn't even get a CHANCE to go through my other previous questions to check if my answers were okay or not. I didn't even get a chance to CHANGE any of the answers that I had rethought about. Blegh, it was utter utter crap. Okay, enough ranting about my exam. On to my ranting about Supasave. All I wanted was to buy four slices of meat. The guy ignores me, and I was NOT in a good mood. When his friend comes up to me and asks me what I want, I am on the verge of screaming. So, I control myself and say "never mind" and walk away but under my breath as I walk past the guy who was SUPPOSE to serve me earlier, I start cursing him and well, I feel like killing him right now. I'm so fucking pissed off right now. Today, I woke up at 8:30am. I'm never in a good mood in the morning anymore not since the election announcements. I couldn't care any less about the schools conditions and everything that's in it. I'm still frigging hurt about not getting a position in the council, but that doesn't really matter because now, the school ranks somewhere in the bottom of my proriety list. Now, I don't even want to bother. It sucks that I didn't get anything, yeah so the voting system was democratic. Screw you. You're not the one, the ONLY one, out of the seven that stood up for elections and NOT get a blood position. I was the ONLY one. How .. what's the word.. never mind, how the hell do you think I feel? I'm not embarassed. No, of course not. I'm hurt. SIX out of SEVEN that stood up got in, yeah. SOMEONE had to be kicked out right? I was unlucky enough to be THAT person. Argh. School starts again on the 15th, that's in two weeks time. Oh how dandy. The night before that will be my physics exam. Whooptedo. Blegh. Okay, enough bitching.

I'm trying to calm down, but the more I try.. the more frustrated I feel. I've got a bad temper, especially when I don't get what I want or when I'm not able to get things to go my way. I'm bad at pretending that nothings wrong because most people can see from my eyes or when I'm quiet. I can be such a pain when I'm ticked off, you can ask any of my friends. Sigh, but I usually try to brush off negative thoughts and vibes off me because it's not right to be angry I guess. At most times, I can be patient.. but I can only be patient up to an extent. That's when things begin to build up and my anger would be 1000x worse. I'm horrible and I guess it's my fault for allowing tension inside me to build up. Antah eh.

You know what's even more frustrating? I'm OFFLINE while I'm typing this and e-speed2 is being a pain. The connection is saying that it's at 12.0Mbps, but the sending packets of data are so low that it's NOT moving. Sigh, maybe it's my computer. I'm done with this. Sigh, I'm outta place and out of my mind.. It's been three hours since I typed up this post. I'm feeling slightly better thanks to some people. I saw my angel just now in his car, doubt that he noticed my car passing by his. Doesn't matter. I was texting with Reza in Paki, yesterday. Silly bumz didn't know I was having my exams. =)