But I'll keep pleasant thoughts at bay because I'm worried I might hurt someone with the thoughts I'm having right now. I'm relieved, and most of all content. I did something I can be very proud of on Saturday night, and straight after, i e-mailed my close/best friends and told them what I've decided upon. It just shows who your real friends are, and those who actually care about you. and hey, it also showed me who didn't give a rats ass. So I should just exclude those people from my next inspirational outburst because, what the hey, you don't care. Thanks to those who messaged me online, or e-mailed me back. It meant a lot.
p.s. randy, i tried to email you but your inbox was full. hugs.

Life goes on doesn't it? So do people. I finally confronted my fears, and I'm finally really wanting to let go. I realized a lot of things that night, and I know he did too. I'll bet this is going to be the best decision I've ever made in my life. I know that he's thankful that I finally confronted him and told him how I felt. Letting go is never easy, I think we all know that. Though, I'd like to think that this time I mean it. I meant every word I sent in my email.. and some were meant to indirectly offend people or at least brush towards the problem I've been having with some of them. I'm just hoping they wouldn't take the offence too seriously. But I think now, my best friends are all on the same level of knowing me because all of them received the same email.. and that way everyone has one clear perception of me. It's like they've all restarted back to level one. Now, I can learn which ones actually want to care about me, which ones are avoiding me, which ones are pretending to care.. sigh. waddaya know? You can learn so much in just two days. It hurts, and I know you read the site. And I think you ought to know. Maybe you'll realize something. Maybe you won't take me for granted so much.
I'm not as weak as people think. Although I always look like I'm going to burst out crying at any moment, I can be stronger. I'm human, so it's natural for me to be emotional. My life as Yasmin, is surreal. It isn’t some ‘normal’ every day girl life, I’ve too much drama going oon. It sucks. Sometimes I'm falling apart, I'm thankful I've got people in my life who pull me back together. I'm just learning so much right now that I don't know if I can take it in anymore.
It hurts to know that people can be so harsh in deciding. I just hope my judgment against certain friends are wrong. I'm hoping to be proved wrong, I'm hoping that they'll show me that they do care, soon.. if not ever. There were massive amounts of, "I'm sorry" and "I'm glad for you" that night, haha. I feel like a huge ton of doubts and misunderstandings have been lifted off my shoulders.
I feel like falling in love. Haha.
I feel like being happy.
love,
yarz.
3 comments:
I was just reading ur profile and ur fav. food, I nearly drooled. if today's a normal day (nda puasa), its my typical kinda meal anyhow. hwhw. tcare.- faz
congrats! (= - GaL
Hi Yasmin! *hugs*
p.s. I'm still alive! :)
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