I feel better.

I finally bought credit for my phone. It's made me feel better seeing that I had someone to text with through these bloody lonneelly nights. I also bought a recharge card for my text buddy so that I have my dude to talk to when I get bored (p.s. i wuuvvvvvvv youuu). It's taken me a while to settle things in my head, I finally got around to doing my homework. Though I only did ONE out of the oh-so-many stack pile I have. Yes, I'm a lazy person.. but that's not the reason. I'm not generally like that, I usually do my work a few days before the due date. I guess my depression got to me so badly that I just couldn't be bothered to do anything. Making this layout took a lot out of my head, though there isn't much production in it. However still, it's the thought and the hidden motive behind it that counts.

I've been listening to a bunch of seriously sad songs all day. They made me cry. Hah, I kept thinking about what was going on in my life, I guess it began to build up.. and as always, it lead to numerous amount of tears. Now, since everything's all dandy and happy (Oh la la), I can listen to them without wanting to cry. :) My head's not above the clouds, but it'll get there sooner or later.

I know that I'm going to get upset for the next few days. I know the reasons why but I don't think I ought to talk about them right now. The skies are dark, and yet.. the good sign about it is that we know it won't get any darker. I was in love once, maybe I still am. I hurt every now and then, but things will get better. =) I promised myself that it will.

Nevertheless, two of my many beautiful girlfriends, Rachael and Adeline, slept over the other day. It was totally impromptu and we only decided to do around five when we were at the swimming pool. Earlier that day, Rach stopped by because she was on her way back from Limbang (in case some people don't know, I live 5 minutes away from the Limbang border). After that we drove down to Gadong, where we met up with Ade about two hours later. We had a blast, even though Rach was constantly on her cell phone. We knew that her phone credit was dying, just like the rest of us, but that didn't stop her. We had under $1 each. I had exactly 5cents remaining in my phone credit.

I hung out at Adeline's house this afternoon. She's got braces now =P I totally forgot.. being the silly person that I am, guess what I brought to her place? =) I brought chocolates and a huge bag of Lays. Oops. Oh well yeah, I ate most of the crisps while webcamming with my best ever buddy, Reza (p.s. Shout outs to you, my babes ;D hooollllaaaaa). Rez babe, I miss you so much. I can't wait till you come back, we're going to have a screaamm!! Ade's web cam is so nice! It made me look so cute (don't mind me, I'm being vain today), then again it might have been my hair =P I webcammed with Wajy and his friend, CJ, as well. Haha.. oh and Rano too!!

My mom picked me up after work and we had dinner in Kiulap. When I got home, it was about eight past and yeah, I had been sending text messages back and forth with my text bud since I bought credit (yay!!!). It's my mom's birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!!! I love you soo much. Don't worry about me, I'm okay now. Everything will turn out right and everything will turn out fine. xoxox

I think she's worried about me since I've been crying a lot. I guess it shows when I'm upset huh? =) I remember someone used to tell me that when I don't smile, I look as if I'm going to cry. I know a lot of people still tell me that. In fact, my mom and my text bud just think that I'm liable to cry when ever I'm not happy. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I wonder what people really see. Am I the bubbly person that people used to love and adore (yeah, I know you agree with this =P) or have I changed my ways into a sinking pessimist?

I'll look in the mirror and I think I see..

Me.