Every word once made me cry.

I've got this book where I write my thoughts. I call it my purple love book. I don't exactly write them in detail.. they're more in poetic form and they've got their own hidden meanings to why I've written them. I can't exactly put into words my description of hate and betrayal. Only I can picture it because I'm the one who's experienced it. My words, my poems.. tell its own story and from that, people can make their own judgments of what actually happened. I wonder how Jane feels about the songs Maroon 5 made.. 'about Jane'. How twisted.

I turn seventeen in twelve days. =) Its funny how time seems to jet past when all you want is for it to slow down. Then again, when you feel like you're in complete torture, you'd be wishing the next day to come by faster. I wonder why time seems to fly when you're having fun while it seems to drag when you're bored. Maybe its the enjoyment :S I wouldn't really know. Time seems to pass easily for me. I know I'm suppose to be studying at this time of day, but noo.. I'm sitting in front of the pc now, typing away.

Dreams are usually said to be warnings, wishes.. sometimes even predictions of the future. I don't dream much, and when I do.. I tend to take them seriously because I think every dream we have has its own meaning.

My boyfriend said, "I hate it when you're right". Funny how I always am, especially when it involves him. I don't know what time I slept last night, but I was on the phone with him around midnight. I saw some photos for the yearbook a few weeks ago, I found a photo of him and I infront of the gym. lol, I think we look cute =) I'll get a copy and post it up when I find the time. During this two week break, I absolutely have to take Aimi out. I don't know where to, but I have got to take her out. We haven't gone out together for so long.

Throughout the years, I've been close with so many people. Most of which have drifted apart, or just suddenly ended. It hurts to think about it, but I guess it's just a phase of life. It breaks my heart to think about it, I guess everyone has their own versions of heartbreaks. It's a natural part of life. I don't think I can think of anyone who's never suffered a heartbreak before.. getting hurt, is normal I suppose. You'd experience it at least once in your lifetime. That's what getting disappointed is all about. I wonder if I've learnt my lesson yet.

Eh, Adeline look: Jessyca. Jessyca Lim? Jessyca Tan? Ng? Mm.. think about it. Hehe get back to me. mwah.

Today is the fortieth day since my grandfather passed away. My family and relatives will all be headed down to Tutong to mark this day. I still miss him and I guess I'm still learning to accept the fact that he's actually gone. Death is another natural part of life, I guess its just something everyone will go through in any stage of their life.

I'd start talking about love, but who am I to talk about it? I think I know what it is, but I don't think I know enough about it. Love isn't something that a person can describe fully. There will never be enough words to desribe the feelings felt, and the hurt experienced.. I wouldn't really know. I've wasted too many tears and time about it. Then again, I'd like to say that I'd rather have a memory of what I once had rather than having to be alone and not know how different things could have been.

'Cause it's breaking my heart
When I look in your eyes
And I don't see me anymore
and you're all I'm living for
- All 4 One: Not Ready for Goodbye.
I know how it feels to be loved, and I know how it feels to be in love. I also know how it feels to hurt, I guess my frustration and rage still seethes inside of me, waiting to explode. I'm not revengeful. I don't think.

At least I try not to be.