Open up.

Well, never in my life have I made a layout that looks like this. It's different isn't it? Empty and bare.

The site's been closed for over a month now and the 'under reconstruction' bit is a lie. I know for a fact that I haven't been working on the site, and I have no idea if M-Feared is. But I certainly do hope he's got something brewing in that whacked up brain of his.

AS Modular results came out yesterday, I managed to score a hefty 83 out of 100 for my Mathematics P1. That's an A grade by the way. Unfortunately, for my Module 2 Physics, I could only go along with a pathetic 48 out of 90. However, I'm grateful because I obtained a D grade. To be honest, I expected a lower mark than that, so I'm happy. But, I still cried as I was seriously disappointed with myself. Sigh, oh well.. two more modules to go and hopefully I can boost up my grade up to at least a B.

About a week ago, I went to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with the school basketball team. We left on Thursday morning at 7:30am using the school bus. I guess on that day, fates were against my boyfriend and I since he wasn't able to see me off (he came to school at eight). It was a dreadful day, rain was pouring non-stop. It rained on the way to the Terminal in Muara, and it wasn't exactly my idea of a cheerful morning. I love the rain, especially during the afternoons. Unfortunately for me, on that day.. all the rain did was depress me. I sat with my best friend, Aimi, during the entire duration of the trip. The boat ride to Labuan made me sick and drowsy but the fun bit was that Aimi and I got to gossip with Norhana. They played Spiderman on the boat TV set. Randy made it to into the guys basketball team, so he went along on the trip as well. I realize that throughout the trip, I didn't really talk to him. I guess we were both busy with our own issues. Anyway, the whole trip from Brunei to Labuan to KL took over thirteen hours. When we arrive at the hotel, we saw Ms. Stevenson. She was my PE teacher back in Year 9 and also Aimi, Maria, Norhana and Elwin's basketball trainer back in the day (sounds old doesn't it? lol). We had our first game against them the next day. At the end of the trip, we managed to win one game and lose two on Friday, and we won two games on Saturday. Making us the Plate Champions.. hehe we won medals too =) Over all, I spent about $350BN in KL (and that was for two days).. mostly on food and other expenses. I didn't buy much, I bought maybe a few shirts for myself and a bag for my sister.

I turn seventeen in about three weeks, I'm looking forward to it even though I never receive presents most of the time except from my sister and a few loved ones. It's going to be on the first day of school, first day of term three. Fun. I'm probably going to end up having a bad day and at the end of that, I'm most likely to end up crying.

I'm fed up with myself. I've gone through more crying sessions than any teenage girl should, well, in my view anyway. I'm happy. I'm back and I'm happy. Do you believe me? No, I didn't think so.

I like to zone out every now and then. My thoughts are usually distracting, and they tend to be depressing. I feel bad for my boyfriend since he has to put up with me every single day. He says I should always smile because when I don't, I look like I'm going to cry. What he says is probably true, so I try not to think about it too much.

I know I don't talk about my boyfriend much in my posts. At least I don't describe him as well as I should. I try not to because of personal reasons.. and there are some people out there I don't wish to offend (you know who you are, don't you?) Ah, who cares? =) Julian is a year older than me, he's in my PE and Physics class. I have lunch with him everyday in school.. and I see him everyday before class and during recess. I spend as much time as possible in school with him since we both can't really go out during the weekends. I've been with him for almost four months now, and we've been going through and past obstacles, and we've still managed to stick together. None of us, including myself and him can believe that we have lasted this long.. and I'm happy that we have. He's a great guy and he has never failed to cheer me up when I'm down. I can describe him like he's a Japanese Anime cartoon, and as my best friend Aimi has once said, "when I see Julian walking, I imagine lines like the ones you see in cartoons". A lot of people have said that he and I look alike, though I've failed to see what it is that makes us look the same. I'll pretend not to understand the next time someone says that to us again. His best friend (and mine), Randy, says that we're so much alike. That I can agree on because my boyfriend is my partner in crime. Especially when it comes to picking on Randy. =) My boyfriend is cute, and he's funny. And I love him so much. xoxo Sayang, I know you're smiling like a nut now.

I've been doing a lot of thinking. I think I mention that fact whenever I post. I do think a lot. My thoughts usually end up with me getting a massive headache, with my eyes trying hard not to cry. I'm a pessimist, I know that very well. I used to be happy like 24-7. I mean, there was a time when all I could see was sunshine. Now, I've learnt that mistakes happen all the time and life isn't just a bunch of roses.. there's still the thorns. It's the thorns that cut you more and nothing as beautiful as the rose petals can ever cure the pain you feel so quickly.

It takes a while to get over things, doesn't it? My boyfriend and I were talking about this last night. I know that I'm not over a lot of things in my life, and I'm thankful that he understands and that he allows me to take time in my life to slowly work on what I need to do. It ended with a cheerful note, and honey, I did mean what I said. My boyfriend is a doll for being able to be so cheerful all the time, and I've always asked him why he's that way. And every time, I get the same answer, "well, you're always depressed. It's my job to make you happy". Yes he's a doll. haha =)

On Tuesday last week, 9th of March, I stood up in front of Green house for house elections. There were about 150+ students and teachers in that small dance room, and there I stood scared and nervous. I was so shaky that I thought I was going to faint. lol, my friends.. scolded me because I sounded like I was going to cry. Yes, I was nervous.. I felt like my legs were going to fall off. I began my speech with a very shaky tone, and I doubt it impressed anyone. Now, I'm just glad its done and over with. However, with that chaotic speech presentation.. all I can do for now is hope and pray that I will get what I want, which is to be the Head of Green house. Sigh, but I really shouldn't get my hopes up too high. Oh bloody hell, I think I deserve the title. I've been in JIS for almost four years now, and I know that I love Green house more. =P p.s. If my competition reads this, don't kill me.