Maybe.

I haven't felt this alive for a while. It's a feeling thats almost unreal. I do a lot of thinking in my free time, because that's all I ever have: a lot of free time. My life isn't exactly a bed of roses, and I'm not always as seemingly happy as I am. I spent my whole evening feeling miserable and what did I get from it? Nothing. I didn't get anything from it, instead I felt worse. I feel terrible right now.

I just got back from a hip-hop fiesta. I saw most of my friends perform. Their performance tonight proved to be better than any other of their old performances, I guess this time they really worked hard to make sure that the show turns out a success. Thumbs up to the organizers and I hope there's more to come. I hung out with some guys I ran into in Gadong, offered them a lift to JP and well, being the gentlemen that they are, they paid for my ticket since I gave them a ride. =) Such sweeties. Anyway, I hung out with them most of the time. I almost fell out of my seat when I realized that Fez was performing alongside M.o.R. I didn't know he was gonna perform, but man. I love that dude when he's on stage. Haz, the other half of Illogic Elements, did a fantastic job on stage. Two thumbs up to them. They were fantastic. As for B-style, what can I say? As always, they did steal the show and being the last act before the guest artists, Triple Noize, they pumped up the crowd up to its highest notch. Damn awesome. Even though I didn't stay until the end because I didn't want my sister waiting for me too long. I left at about half past ten.

The sky's so dark tonight. I wonder how dark darkness is. It's a silly question but I can't help but ask. I made three new friends tonight, I don't know two out of three of their names. Yes, I'm horrible but I couldn't help it since they weren't exactly introduced to me. They acted like they were my life long friends. A few days I go I thought that my life was ruined, and nothing will turn out alright. I can be so f***ing suicidal at times, it's just scary. I know it scares my mom because I tend to make a lot of threats. I know that it's stupid and I've always thought that people like that should get help. Then again, I know I could have prevented myself from doing unpredictable things; so why did I start them in the first place? I think everyone's human and that there are points in life when you just wish that you were dead to take away whatever’s hurting you. I'll agree with that for now, until I can find a suitable argument for it.

Scooby-doo 2: Monsters Unleased started showing on Thursday. I was supose to go and watch it last night with some friends, but a sudden change of plans somehow lead me to go as I had originally planned about a month ago to go to Jerudong Park. Sigh what a night I had. It's pretty late right now, and my head is hurting more than ever. I need to learn to unwind and let loose a bit more. I've been keeping so many people at bay, I guess I'm still scared of history repreating itself.

Eh, Adeline luv, Chan? haha that sounds good to me. I'll work on it kayz. mwah. xoxox.

Broken hearts have never been easy to mend. I think everyone should know that. We've suffered different kinds of disappointments, but I think instead of healing.. my heart keeps on breaking every day. There are a lot of things that go around me that I should avoid thinking about because I know it will end up hurting me. I wonder why people like to find out things that they know will hurt them? Curiousity always seems to get the best of us. I wonder what's gotten the best of me. I should stop thinking about the b******* in my life and just move on with whatever's left of me. I should pick up the broken pieces of my heart and put it in a box. I should just leave my heart at home so it can't be broken. I mean, my eyes are still full of tears with anger, hurt and frustration. So yeah, maybe I ought to do that. Maybe I ought to stop feeling so much for the things that matter to me.

Maybe. I'll think about it.